pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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