Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
