whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just gargled with NyQuil
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