Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
