we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
