Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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