we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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