So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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