WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
