So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
