you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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