If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
