party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
