hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
