There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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