The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
