Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
