I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
