Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize