i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
