need another drink. this is the easiest way
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
