Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
