He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
