when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
