I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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