I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
