No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
time to smoke my breakfast
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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