Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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