Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
