I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My penis needs a shock collar
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
