i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize