Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
