so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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