I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize