This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
