He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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