The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
