Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
