I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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