Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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