Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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