Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
