Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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