im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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