I faked an abortion last night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
