Can i not drive my cunt home
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
