Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
