Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
