Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
