When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
