When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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