I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
