Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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