so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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