I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
