Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we're so committed to being not committed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
