We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
