Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
