did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
