new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
