Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
